man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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