we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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