I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
