Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
