She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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