He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
