i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
