so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
