how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
