So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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