I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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