Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
