I must be too annoying 4 u.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
