Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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