Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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