are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
