Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
