I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
