bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
