I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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