genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
