Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
