Nicole vs. Life
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
