I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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