There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
