I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm passing your future prison.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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