He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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