why didn't you poke me back
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
