Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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