I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
