Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
