please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
