At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
