Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
