but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
