there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
