I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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