you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
