She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You pole danced in your parka.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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