Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
