also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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