You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
