i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
