Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
