Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
