how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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