I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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