he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
