I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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