I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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