she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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