Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
