I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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