he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
