I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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