Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
